Despite being a digital torture method that Stephen Miller is currently looking to employ against alleged members of MS-13, logging on to Bluesky can still occasionally serve a useful purpose from time to time.

This week, for example, the platform proved to be an effective tool for gleaning how the far-left, demigendered baristas of the world are reacting to the ongoing saga of wrongfully/rightfully deported (does anyone know?) immigrant Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Contrasting their views of this story with discourse on X proved to be very revealing, as well as a textbook example of social media’s echo chamber effect.

Oh — and of course I found a few retarded takes on other matters that need to be shared just so you remember to always avoid this website (especially you, J.K. Rowling) (these people really hate your guts lol).

Below, let’s unpack Bluesky’s beef with both Donald Trump’s immigration policies as well as the creator of Harry Potter.

Grab your dairy-free, vegan, extra-soy popcorn — Bluesky Blues 4.0 starts now.

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As mentioned, the story that sent shockwaves through Bluesky World this week was the continued saga of illegal immigrant Kilmar Abrego Garcia, and the recent rulings by both U.S. District Judge Paula Xinis — and, later, the Supreme Court — that his deportation to El Salvador’s notorious CECOT prison was illegal, and his return to the States must therefore be “facilitated.”

This story has been practically impossible to follow because, as with many issues, both parties continue to spew their own polar opposite interpretation of the exact same situation somehow.

“He’s MS-13!”

“No he’s not!”

“He’s a barbaric El Salvadoran wife beater!”

“He’s a loving Maryland father, fascist pig!”

I won’t even begin to pretend like I’m a legal scholar who has all the facts down here with this Kilmar Conundrum. What I will say is that maybe — just maybe — my overall confusion had something to do with the fact that details of the situation tended to be light over on X (or, at the very least, it just wasn’t High Priority Issue #1 like it was on Kara Swisher’s preferred platform).

Here’s how the saga played out on Bluesky:

#1) A tale of two Kilmars

While there’s definitely more nuance to the story, the optics of someone being wrongfully deported to a harsh prison in Central America certainly don’t look great on the surface for the Trump administration.

So, naturally, as a website with an outbreak of Stage 4 TDS, Bluesky seized on the Kilmar issue this week in hopes of scoring a few digital brownie points against Orange Man Bad.

And — while I hate to do this — I have to give the crazy Blueskyers the slightest bit of credit here. A good amount of these people were at least citing back to the actual details of the court case and basing their arguments on facts, as opposed to chimping out haphazardly like they normally do.

By and large, though, what Bluesky illustrated most with their Kilmar coverage was just how wide of a gulf exists between their bubble and the bubble on X.

Take, for example, this recent development in the story: Democrat Senator Chris Van Hollen heading down to El Salvador personally to try to meet with Kilmar and facilitate his release (and subsequently getting snubbed by El Salvadoran officials).

Here was a typical Bluesky post about that incident:

Annnnd — here was a typical X post about it:

There you have it. The same story — two wildly different analyses.

On the one hand: ‘Kilmar could be dead! It’s a cover up!’

On the other: ‘LMAO, look at this ABSOLUTE CLOWN getting REJECTED! 🤣’

Ultimately, no matter which of these takes you personally agree with — or if you find yourself somewhere in the middle of this massive divide — it’s nonetheless fascinating to see such a stark contrast in coverage between the two platforms. Like living in two different worlds. A tale of two Kilmars, if you will.

Equally fascinating? Blueskyers’ hatred of J.K. Rowling.

#2) UK court declares men aren’t women / Blueskyers declare war on J.K. Rowling

In case you missed it — because this story didn’t cause widespread panic on X like it did on Bluesky — the UK Supreme Court apparently ruled this week that the legal definition of “woman” does not include trans women.

As you can imagine on a platform like Bluesky (which appears to have a user base of something like 97% trans women), this caused quite the stir. Particularly, users seemed to direct their ire most at J.K. Rowling, the Harry Potter author / longtime bulwark against letting people with penises into the Woman Club, who celebrated this recent ruling in a tweet.

A few of Bluesky’s notable broadsides against her?

1 - “She needs to wingardium leviofuckoff”:

2 - “JK Rowling is the Elon Musk of Literature” (in their world this is an insult, you understand):

And my personal favorite…

3 - Comparing Rowling to *checks notes* a football coach who overlooked a rape scandal:

“Because it DOES matter more…”

Oh, give it a rest, theater kids. Go outside. I promise there are more important things than attacking the author of children’s books for not being enough of an “ally.”

Speaking of Blueskyers going after people, though…

#3) …is Bluesky catching onto my shenanigans?

Ever since the first edition of this column, I’ve been silently wondering to myself how long it would take for Blueskyers to realize there’s an imposter in their midst who writes about their silly little conversations every week.

And while I don’t think my cover’s been blown just yet…I did stumble upon this ominous warning, posted a few days ago by user “Salmon.”

Are they catching on to the nefarious deeds of me and my “Hitlerite” boss?

Unclear, but here’s to hoping I can continue to engage in this weekly operation incognito as long as possible (so these lunatics don’t come after me like they currently are with J.K. Rowling).

Let’s close with the gift that keeps on giving: Stephen King.

#4) Does ICE Know About Street Corn?

You can believe what you want to believe, Stephen…

But ‘does ICE know about Mexican street corn’ most certainly qualifies as a stupid question.

At least you weren’t attempting comedy this time — as far as I can tell, at least.

(PSA Trump: Seriously, just make the illegals read Stephen King’s Bluesky posts next time instead of shipping them to CECOT. I promise you, the punishment is just as severe, and you’ll avoid all the bad headlines).

Catch you all next week.

—Riley Nork