Well folks, as we’ve been covering here for America’s greatest newsletter, President Trump has exercised his authority to deploy National Guard troops to D.C., and the fine, well-adjusted people over at the NYT opinion section have issued their sober response: casually wondering why we haven’t seen a military coup. In a new thinkpiece titled “We Used to Think the Military Would Stand Up to Trump. We Were Wrong,” our authors unironically question why the U.S. military — which follows orders from the commander-in-chief according to a little thing called the Constitution — is following orders from the commander-in-chief. The brave rebels write that while they hoped the military would only respond to orders from Trump “kicking and screaming, we no longer expect resistance from that institution.” Heartbreaking. Let us pray these poor opinion authors can find a new country where troops do #Resist orders. I hear Sierra Leone is lovely this time of year.

According to WSJ, adults are going to sleep-away camp to make friends, and it’s working. And yeah, of course it is. Pet rocks. Climbing walls. Capture the flag?? Personally, nothing gets me going like a structured physical activity. And with a record number of Americans no longer drinking alcohol (aka Gen Z is staying home on their computers), and a record number of tech companies making AI blob companions (including, apparently, Apple), lonely women named Jocelyn attending “Camp Social” (it’s literally called that) to sleep on a bunk bed with other lonely women named Liv is just about the best news I’ve seen all week. Let’s get some more of these bad boys underway. There are other crises, besides the loneliness one, that need solving. Namely, the birth rate one. Pronatalist camp, anyone? The bunk beds are squeaky but hey, that particular structured physical activity is for the greater good.

As AI companies race to unlock superintelligence, critics are continuing to shame them for using too much energy, insisting GPT-5 be powered via hamster wheel (or something). If that sounds familiar, it’s the same playbook once used against Bitcoin and other PoW coins. The script hasn’t changed: cherry-picked “energy per query” stats, comparisons to small-country consumption, and a quasi-religious belief that technological progress is inherently sinful. Bitcoin mining’s chief antagonist, Alex de Vries, has apparently now found a second career harassing AI — but the Bitcoin wars taught me no amount of efficiency or clean energy (ahem, nuclear) will appease such critics; the industrial revolution was the original sin, and redemption lies only in regression. My advice to the AI builders? Stop trying to bargain — just create tools so useful their benefits dwarf any perceived cost (and if you still get pushback from the decels? Kindly ignore them).